Saturday, November 20, 2004

Success ... You Are What You Think About

Defensive people are simply Fear-Based reactors in both their personal and professional lives. Conversely, creative leaders demonstrate and inspire the leadership excellence that is required for true success in the 21st century.

Success is no longer limited to the concept of income or power. Indeed, we have all met miserable “successful” persons. These rich and powerful people usually lack at least one of the following …

1) Joy.
2) An intimate life-partner.
3) The love & respect of old friends and/or their children.
4) A basic spirituality or higher purpose than just self.

James Allen’s wonderful book, “As A Man Thinketh” is dedicated to the concept that “you are what you think about.” In other words, what you think about most of the time is what you will become. When something goes wrong, do you become defensive or creative? Are you negative or positive? Do you come from fear or from love?

What do you think about most of the time? Are you becoming what you think about? What are you feeding your mind? .

It is quite easy to see if you are reacting from fear. In fact, there are only four Fear-Based reactions …. Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Facade. Attack, run, isolate or lie to protect yourself from the problem. All of these reactions can be appropriate responses to negative situations, but if they are occurring with any frequency you run the risk of “becoming” these reactions instead of “having” them.

The good news is there are only four ways to Lead from Excellence … Empathy, Enthusiasm, Evaluation and Ethics. Treat others with respect, come from joy, keep your commitments, and tell the truth.

The secret is to quit basing your behaviors on negative circumstances. Things will always go wrong. When they do, the only relevant thing is for you to notice how you are reacting (Fight, Flight, Freeze, or Facade), then do the opposite (Empathy, Enthusiasm, Evaluation, and Ethics). But, it’s an all or nothing strategy. You are either doing all four of the E’s of Excellence, or you are doing one, perhaps two, of the Fear-Based reactions.

Bottom line, you are either reacting from fear BECAUSE of how others are treating you, or you are leading with love IN SPITE OF how others are treating you. You will become what you think about. Success is in your own mind. It always has been. It always will be.

One final thought. The successful leaders of the 21st century will have one common characteristic. They will never take themselves too seriously. As such, I’d like to close with a joke my father used in his seminars, “I don’t know that it is true that you are what you think about … or I would have been a girl by the time I was 18.”